Tomorrow.

This post is more personal.
It has nothing to do with current events, except that I've currently decided that I want to take control of my life.
I'm going to start with my weight.

I'm actually fine with who I am, the size I am, etc. I've always been proud to be me.
Still am.
However, I want to lose weight for a variety of reasons that are important to me.
This blog is to remind me of that whenever I'm feeling down about my progress.

1. I want to be healthy. I don't want to be super skinny. I'm not going for Cindy Crawford here.
I'm just going for healthy. I don't want to die young, and look like a beached whale in my coffin.
I want to live to see my grandchildren walk down the aisle. And I can't do that if I have a coronary at 40.

2. I want to make shopping enjoyable again.
I hate shopping. They don't make clothes for short little chubby elves like me. I want to go in the store and have a larger variety of clothes to choose from. Not just "granny" or "maternity."

3. Pictures. I want to look good in them.
Maybe that's vain. Whatever. As a photographer, I rarely have my photo taken. But when I do, I'm hugely critical of them. I want to look good in them. I want to lose some weight and look good in photos with my friends, without hiding in the back of the photos or making retarded faces.

4. More than anything, I want to put on a dress, look fabulous in it, and wear some killer heels.
I've never done it. I want to look stunning in a dress and stilettoes.

Is any of that too much to ask?

I'm going to start tomorrow, walking and jogging a bit each day. Just to get moving again. I'm hoping to talk Nick into hiking with me, or even walking with me some. I don't want to do it alone.

But the truth is, I'm going to have to do it alone if I want to get it done. No one is going to make me stop eating junk food. No one is going to make me exercise. No one is going to help me get into that dress.

So, tomorrow, I start by eating something healthy for breakfast, and cutting out the sodas. Then I'm going to walk/jog in the morning for about 30 minutes. No overkill. I'm going to use My Fitness Pal to keep track of my goals.

My first goal is to lose 10 pounds by my birthday, November 7.
-sigh-

Wish me luck. I'm nervous, and excited.
Excited and nervous.
It's time.