Tomorrow.

This post is more personal.
It has nothing to do with current events, except that I've currently decided that I want to take control of my life.
I'm going to start with my weight.

I'm actually fine with who I am, the size I am, etc. I've always been proud to be me.
Still am.
However, I want to lose weight for a variety of reasons that are important to me.
This blog is to remind me of that whenever I'm feeling down about my progress.

1. I want to be healthy. I don't want to be super skinny. I'm not going for Cindy Crawford here.
I'm just going for healthy. I don't want to die young, and look like a beached whale in my coffin.
I want to live to see my grandchildren walk down the aisle. And I can't do that if I have a coronary at 40.

2. I want to make shopping enjoyable again.
I hate shopping. They don't make clothes for short little chubby elves like me. I want to go in the store and have a larger variety of clothes to choose from. Not just "granny" or "maternity."

3. Pictures. I want to look good in them.
Maybe that's vain. Whatever. As a photographer, I rarely have my photo taken. But when I do, I'm hugely critical of them. I want to look good in them. I want to lose some weight and look good in photos with my friends, without hiding in the back of the photos or making retarded faces.

4. More than anything, I want to put on a dress, look fabulous in it, and wear some killer heels.
I've never done it. I want to look stunning in a dress and stilettoes.

Is any of that too much to ask?

I'm going to start tomorrow, walking and jogging a bit each day. Just to get moving again. I'm hoping to talk Nick into hiking with me, or even walking with me some. I don't want to do it alone.

But the truth is, I'm going to have to do it alone if I want to get it done. No one is going to make me stop eating junk food. No one is going to make me exercise. No one is going to help me get into that dress.

So, tomorrow, I start by eating something healthy for breakfast, and cutting out the sodas. Then I'm going to walk/jog in the morning for about 30 minutes. No overkill. I'm going to use My Fitness Pal to keep track of my goals.

My first goal is to lose 10 pounds by my birthday, November 7.
-sigh-

Wish me luck. I'm nervous, and excited.
Excited and nervous.
It's time.

WHAT did you say?!

So, I just bought a new game for Steam. For those of you who are unsure what Steam is, it's a program to buy PC games and use it to play them with your friends, etc. [Steam] I bought Dead Island. It's an RPG/FPS zombie game, and it's trailer really got me, plucked at my heartstrings. [See devastating trailer HERE.] And on the release day, last Monday, I bought it.

Fastforward. The game has had some issues in it's Steam PC release. First, the company, Deep Silver, hasn't really had any big name games, and was ill-prepared for the amount of interest the game generated. No online cooperative play until today, Sept 9th. The servers couldn't handle it. No problem. It happens.

But, in addition to the limited server capacity, Deep Silver released the wrong version of Dead Island, and in doing so, released a test version of the game. You could fly and do all sorts of crazy stuff. It was not the intended release.

In the spirit of RPG, the game allows characters to take skill points much like Borderlands, or other RPG games. Cool. However, a savvy computer gamer found a hidden bit of code, and the code he found was in reference to a female character and her skill point. The engineer who coded the game labelled the skill point "Feminist Whore."

EXCUSE ME?!

This is what Deep Silver had to say in regards to the incident:

"It has come to our attention that one of Dead Island's leftover debug files contains a highly inappropriate internal script name of one of the character skills. This has been inexcusably overlooked and released with the game," Blazej Krakowiak, Techland International Brand Manager, said via email. "The line in question was something a programmer considered a private joke. The skill naturally has a completely different in-game name and the script reference was also changed. What is left is a part of an obscure debug function. This is merely an explanation but by no means an excuse. In the end that code was made a part of the product and signed with our company name. We deeply regret that fact and we apologize to all our customers or anyone who might have been offended by that inappropriate expression.

"The person responsible for this unfortunate situation will face professional consequences for violating the professional standards and beliefs Techland stands for."

Publisher Deep Silver also responded with a prepared statement:

"These unfortunate actions were of one individual at developer company Techland and do not in any way represent the views of publishing company Deep Silver."

 I understand that the code was never supposed to be seen by public eye. I know that it was inwardly "a joke" and probably just some guys sitting around laughing about how the Feminist Whore should make them a Sammich. The problem is in the culture itself, about how men, for this instance,  in gaming, view women as inferior, or as a threat to them. I'm sure that these geeky men, these intelligent, gaming, nerdy men, did not get as much attention from women back in their day as did the jocks and so on. Ask any girl who games, and any guy whose ever seriously played with a girl. One of two things happen. The girl either flirts relentlessly, and doesn't give a shit about the game, or they are a real gamer who hides behind her screenname, and possibly pretends to be a male. So she can enjoy the game without the male prejudice of being a female gamer.

We all know that nerds and gamers are the social outcasts, but that doesn't justify the Feminist Whore label. I understand that some jokes are not for mixed company. But, what I'm most upset about is that the culture dictates that this is okay, in some way. More men than not in the forums actually say "It wasn't supposed to be seen," or "It was a joke, don't take it so seriously." 

So, now it's okay to tell jokes that should offend half of the gaming community? If the slip of code had been something like "BadDrivingAsian" or any other offensive reference to race in the game, people would be up in arms, calling for the heads of the programmers. Instead, the large majority of people are saying "No big fucking deal." And the large majority of gamers are male. 

See the problem?


Edit: 


As an aside from the feminist aspect, another point has been made. It was also pointed out to me, when discussing this with a computer engineer, that while it wasn't supposed to be seen, it goes to speak for the level of professionalism at Deep Silver. It's disappointing to see such a nosedive for a company which produced a game, that, while not perfect, has promise. 

It's my body, ergo, my choice.

Right?! Wrong.

I'm not talking abortion rights at the moment. That's a whole different can of worms.

But if I don't want to have a child, I should be allowed to make a decision for my body, including choosing a tubal ligation if that's what I so desire. Instead, one of the major hospitals in the city, University of Louisville, one of the best in regards to innovation and trauma care, has decided that the rules set forth by the Catholic Church is more important than MY CHOICE. I would instead have to make my way to a different hospital, incurring more costs, more surgery, and more anesthesia, in return, more bills for my choosing to have my tubes tied.

What what what?!
Why? Why is a hospital merger and the rules of the Church allowed to make decisions for my body?

This is a trend that will never cease to amaze me.
How is it that a governing body of any kind can tell me what I can and cannot do with my body?
If I want to be fat, I'm going to eat until my heart's content. I'm not going to stop eating McDonalds.
If I want to smoke, I'll do so. Raising the taxes won't make me stop, I'm already addicted. I'm fine with outlawing that in public settings, but penalizing people who choose to smoke is beyond me.
If I get pregnant, and don't want to give birth to the child, I'll abort it, within the first trimester.


People should be allowed to have control of their bodies and the choices they make for them.
Which is why I also agree with the legalization of marijuana, and the ability to grow it for oneself.
It should be taxed, and that money put to good use.

Sure, I'm Catholic, but if I want to have my tubes tied, I'm going to have them chop those suckers short. If I'm not capable of raising a child, or say I don't want to go through an additional risky pregnancy, what is the harm of having my tubes tied? Because I might regret it? Psh. Please. Since when does anyone in government care about my feelings or my regrets? I regret taking out $10K in student loans, Mr. Big Government, want to pay those off for me so I won't regret them later?

What about the women who AREN'T Catholic? Why should they be subjected to rules of an organization or religion they don't believe in? That's wrong on a whole different level.

My bottom line is this: it's my body, it's my life. If I don't want to have any children, that's my choice. If I want to prevent it medically, whether by abortion or tubal ligation, I'm in the school of thought that a hospital should be obligated to give me a surgery that I want, based on my choices, not based on the rules of a church organization that won't contribute to paying for the babies diapers if I am forced to give birth to them.

Happiness is a choice.

I was reading an article on Oprah's website. It was talking about things that happy people do. The one that REALLY caught my eye was "They allow themselves to be happy."  How true is that? People don't think happiness is a choice all the time. "My job weighs me down and makes me unhappy." "My friends never want to hang out, therefore, I'm unhappy." "I don't have as much money as I'd like, I'm unhappy." People finds all sorts of ways to be unhappy. I'd say especially women. Their weight, height, hair, eyes. Their jobs, educations. Their children or lack thereof. Men, though they worry about some of the same, have a lot more of a relaxed attitude about a lot of things. Women are worry warts. Women over-think.

And this paragraph from the article really was poignant, that people don't think they have the option in life to MAKE their own happiness.

It may seem obvious, but "people don't devote enough time to thinking seriously about how they spend their life and how much of it they actually enjoy," says David Schkade, PhD, a psychologist and professor of management at the University of California San Diego. In a recent study, Schkade and colleagues asked more than 900 working women to write down everything they'd done the day before. Afterward, they reviewed their diaries and evaluated how they felt at each point. When the women saw how much time they spent on activities they didn't like, "some people had tears in their eyes," Schkade says. "They didn't realize their happiness was something they could design and have control over."

You choose to be happy. The best advice ever given to me in a depressed time in my life was this: "Shut up, and make your life happen. Don't say "I wish." Do it."  It sounds harsh. Maybe. Maybe it is. But, when a person gets stuck in a rut, something needs to jar them back into reality.  Sometimes, things suck.  Who doesn't want to be happy though?  Live each day for yourself. Make yourself happy. Make your life.  And, the smallest things do that. Taking pictures. Roadtrips. Cofee with friends. Even enjoying work with good co-workers. The world sucks. But, you can make the choice to be happy about your life.

Don't just wish to be happy. Do it.

Knowledge IS power.

So, just finished reading a story at CNN, about teen pregnancy. I'm glad to announce that not only is teen pregnancy at it's lowest in two decades, but number of teens even having sex has decreased. Jeez, it's about time. Someone is out there telling these kids that it's okay to keep their virginity. And it is. It's okay for them to just be friends, or just make out even. It's great. These kids are learning, from somewhere.

Where from? Are schools finally teaching something other than abstinence only? Or, maybe Moms and Dads are sitting down, and explaining the birds and the bees and how life works? All I can say is FINALLY.

Are shows like Teen Mom and 16 & Pregnant helping? I'm not so sure. Those girls are idolized. They're on the cover on every major magazine. US Weekly.  Life & Style.  OK!  In Touch.  People.  You get the picture. The one thing that these shows do highlight is the difficulties of having a child, while still being a child themselves.

Kids, take it from me, someone who kept her virginity until after high school. Someone who doesn't have a kid and still can't imagine having one now, even at age 24... while these girls are on tv, and these girls have magazine covers, there's something that they still have at the end of the day, when the cameras are off.

And that's an infant.

There's no turning off an infant. When school gets tough, you get to take a break. You get to watch some tv, or play on Facebook. When you get tired of your cell phone, you don't answer. Right now, if you wanna go out, and you want to go to a movie, or to the mall, you go. That ceases with a child. The baby isn't going to go where you want to go all the time. The baby will get sick and puke on your Prada bag. The baby will have diarrhea when you want to go to the mall.

I'm not anti-child. I'm very pro family. But, kids shouldn't have the burden of raising one themselves. I don't wanna go on a rant about those shows. That's a completely different blog for a different time.

Kudos to the teenagers of today. You'll be thankful that you don't have kids, when you're trying to finish college, get a career, or get married without the added stress of a baby in tow.

I missed the punchline.

By now, you've all heard of the USC Kappa Sigma fraternity letter. Oh, you know the one. The letter that basically justifies men's objectification of women and reinforces all sorts of stereotypes, against both sexes. The one that is supposedly funny, a joke letter. No? Not heard of that one. (Step out from your rock.) Jezebel has the full text. Check it out first, before I continue.

(Did you check it out?) (No, really. If you've not read it, this is your last chance before spoilers.) 

Alright. Let's start at the top, and dissect this, piece by disgusting piece. 

"These renditions should be elaborate and interesting. I want raw data on who fucks and who doesn't. In conclusion the gullet report will strengthen brotherhood and help pin-point sorostitiutes more inclined to put-out. From my experience when a female goes Ksig shes typically repeats."

Wow, right? Where to start? This is a fraternity member who is recommending the start of a log of sorority girls, or, as he so delicately put, "sorostitutes."  I don't even think I need to discuss how derogatory it is for a woman to be called a "sorostitute." Yes, I know it's not a real word. But, it's a combination of sorority and prostitute. The sexist nature of the word should be self evident. Back to the log of sexual encounters. Why is that anyone's business? Logically thinking, at least in my mind, it goes like this. 

*Frat boy meets sorority girl, at a kegger or "study session" or something similar.
*Frat boy takes necessary steps to get with the sorority girl.
*Then, frat boy takes the event to his fearless leader, (in my mind, the letter writer) so it can be logged.
*Thus, making it easier for other frat boys to get with said sorority girl.  

*The next frat boy can then lather, rinse, and repeat the process. 

Here's some more full text. 

"Defending the Gullet Report:
You may feel this is an unnecessary initiative. Gentlemen, you could not be more wrong. Gullet Reports only exist to help pie-getters get their nut more. It gives them the knowledge so they can operate as an efficient, calculated assassin. It also exists to call out the pie-getters who may fabricate stories sometimes or tend to exaggerate their sexual encounters. You all know who you are, and should be ashamed of your actions. There is nothing wrong with having a fatty on your record."

Are you laughing at this joke letter yet? Let me continue with other slices of this sexist pie. (And speaking of pie...)

"A Cocksman is taught to live by the two most applicable principles I know: The Pie and the Gullet....I will refer to females as "targets". They aren't actual people like us men. Consequently, giving them a certain name or distinction is pointless.... Pie: A target's vagina." 

And the lovely letter continues on, listing every cringe-worthy word ever assigned to a woman's vagina. (Because heaven forbid someone say the V word.)  Wait, I'm not finished yet. 

"Gullet: Usually refers to a target's mouth and throat. Most often pertains to a target's throat capacity and it's ability to gobble cock."

Isn't that nice of the men of Kappa Sigma? To label our vaginas as "pies" and our mouths and throats as "gullets?" A pie is something to be devoured, and a gullet, while humans DO have them, is more often a term applied to the throats of animals. Good to know what the men at KSig think of the ladies. I'm sure you're really laughing now.  Let's move forward, shall we?

"Many fatties and uglies do have great gullets and are particularly good at sex. They have to be more dedicated to their craft because no one would talk to them otherwise."

That's it! That is why "fatties and uglies" are good at sex. Because no one would pay attention to their minds, or their personalities. And no guy could EVER enjoy being with a woman who was, well, built like a woman and not a young kid. This demotivational poster comes to mind. And of course, fatties and uglies are forbidden from having a sex drive, right? Psh. Whatever, KSig douchebags. Big girls and girls who aren't as beautiful as say, Megan Fox or Marissa Miller (those were your examples, KSig, not mine) are still women, and still have a sex drive, and can still be good at it. 

Now, the letter continues, saying that women should provide proper maintenance for their vaginas, (of course, they used the word pie and target) and that it should be done out of respect. And it also continues with a ridiculous ranking scale that can actually average into the negatives, in regards to women the great "Cocksmen" have successfully laid. It's disgusting, and offensive, but this line takes the cake. 

"Non-consent and rape are two different things. There is a fine line, so make sure not to cross it."

Can I say what the fuck? Of course I can. It's my blog.  Did this fraternity member ACTUALLY say that non-consensual sex and rape were different? He did. I think he did. Let me reread that line. Yeah. Yeah he did. 

Here's my note to any man who happens across this page. 

IF YOU DECIDE TO HAVE SEX WITH A WOMAN, AND SHE'S NOT ABLE TO SAY YES, IN ANY WAY, OR IF YOU START TO HAVE SEX WITH HER, SHE CHANGES HER MIND, AND YOU CONTINUE ANYWAY, YOU HAVE RAPED HER. 

Let me rephrase that. Regardless of how many Lokos you've had this girl drink, if you somehow get her too drunk to say no, or if she just flat out denies you, and you have sex with her anyway, you've raped her. Period. And you'll have really messed up her life.  Statistics say so.

Sure, a jury of your peers, if enough fraternity members are on the jury that is, may find you innocent. But, to that woman, you've raped her. She's a victim for life. Sure, you had a great time. Congratulations. She'll never look at a party the same. She'll never look at any man in her life the same. You'll have ruined her. Why? Because the majority of women who are raped know the rapist. Statistics say that, too.  So, if you, the cute KSig from chemistry class, can rape her when she's drunk at a party, why not the next guy? It's guys like you, who like to push the boundaries, who ruin it for all the nice guys. (Sorry, nice guys.) 

Has anyone paid attention to the reinforcement of stereotypes stemming from this letter? It reinforces the negative stereotypes of fraternities, and sororities, as partying, alcohol-driven sex fiends. Truth of the matter is, sororities and fraternities do great work on and around campus communities. Sure, there are parties between fraternities and sororities. Many of them are involved in tutoring, Big Brother/Big Sister programs, Girl Scouts or Boy Scouts, disease research fundraising awareness, plus more. The sad fact of it is, letters like this propagate a negative stereotype about the institutions, and it overshadows all the good work they do. It also makes anyone viewing the letter think about the institution as a whole, and not as an individual action. That's what happens when you represent an institution. Your actions speak for the group, regardless of their purpose or of their intended audiences. 

It's sad, that a fraternity, which probably has outstanding members who do great work and are fine, upstanding men, could possibly be removed from campus due to the actions of presumably one member. But, when you pen a letter, blasting men who sleep with "fatties and uglies," propagating rape, and deeming women as less than men, there are consequences with those actions and nasty thoughts. Sure, some guy thought this was funny. But, the impact has been far reaching, and the majority does not believe this letter is humorous. The majority of the population believes is devoid of all humor. The majority of the population believes this letter is a shameful representation of a fraternity. The majority of the population views this letter outlining men's quest to have sex with every woman that crosses their path, with or without their consent, as disgusting, and fulfilling of the frat boy stereotype, as well as a reinforcement of the misogynistic nature of fraternities. 

And that's exactly what it is. 

For the record, the only thing funny to me in the letter was that the frat boys used Megan Fox as a shining example of beauty. C'mon boys. Next time, go with someone a little less clichéd.

Let's get started.

Let's start with a brief overview of a few words that readers will come across, just to make sure we're clear on my meanings. 


(Not to say you don'g already know this, it's more just to lay out my intentions.) 


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Feminism: A social theory or political movement supporting the equality of both sexes in all aspects of public and private life; specifically, a theory or movement that argues that legal and social restrictions on females must be removed in order to bring about such equality. A feminist practices feminism. 


Manifesto: A public declaration of principles, policies, intentions, especially that of a political party. 


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Now that we've got that out of the way, every good blog has a mission statement, right? No, I don't suppose it does. This one will. 


This blog is going to be utilized to view, discuss, address, and relay stories and events that are crucial to feminism and equality in the world around us. It is not a place to bash men, or anyone who may not be in line with the feminist view point. It is, however, a place to view this stories from a feminist's viewpoint, and discuss their ramifications in society. 


I will always link up to original stories. I will not plagiarize. Nor will I take another blogger's work as my own. I'll give credit where credit is due. 


I will not hold my tongue. I will speak out about injustices in the world. I will write in praise about the women who are doing successful things to break barriers. I will be proud of the women who are shining examples of what it means to be a woman. 


I will listen, and discuss with the readers. What is the point of a blog if not to create an open discussion, a place where viewpoints can be examined and discussed? 


This is the beginning of the Feminist Manifesto.